On This Big Round Rock

I can’t count the number of times I’ve closed my eyes and aimed my face at the sun, but I can remember what it feels like to have that warm light radiating down on me. The tighter I close my eyes the wider my smile gets. I’m 30 years old and I still get happy every time I see the sun shining.

In the depths of depression, it’s impossible to walk outside and even see the sun, let alone feel its warmth. There sets a glaze over the eyes of the depressed soul. The existence of love within, the fullness of spirit, the magic of life that causes wonder – all of this becomes lost. The deception is that it is right there around us all the time, we just lose track of it, we become wrapped up in the distractions of the world. As we gain one thing that we desired, we decide that it doesn’t make us happy enough, so we look for something else to make us happy. This half-life of happiness, that worldly objects barely afford us, is what causes the gradual decay of our ability to love life.

I used to tell a girl, “Living life loving you makes loving life easy to do.” The problem was that if that person ever went away (which she did), loving life would, by default, become harder to do. I now assert that living life loving, makes loving life easy to do.

To find solace in the mundane things, by remembering all that we have and have achieved, is the answer to overcoming the foolish ruses of the deceiver. The world is God’s creation but it can certainly be the devil’s playground if we allow it. Stripping down and letting go of the chains of remorse, wanton desire and greed, will help us to ford that mucky river and find that shallow, narrow path once again!

No matter your geographic location, you can always close your eyes and be in the same place every time. Within your mind, heart and soul is where the love is that you keep for your loved ones. Your family and friends are all there collectively. We can all look up together, at the night sky, and see the same sky. We’re all on this rock together!

Pumpkin Seeds and Falling Leaves

Here we are, in the month of the Harvest Moon. We await the grand entrance of the Hunter, the owner of the night sky. In this, the 30th year of my life, I gaze in amazement at the beauty of the starlit horizon. The faint light pollution from the rural towns that surround slighty skews the view of heavenly constellations.

Still hot during the day, the air hangs almost stagnant as the sun still shines. But as the temperature drops after dusk, the poignant memory of past romances enters my mind. The leaves fall from the trees, they crackle under feet, and the wheels of hayride trucks and trailers pack them down for natural fertilizers for the ground. As the brittle leaves find moisture, they remind the nose, in all of its olfactory magnificence, of the intoxicating scents they take on as their chemicals ferment. Chlorophyllic metamorphosis: nature’s way of blending colors on its pallet.

The sun still sets in the same beautiful western sky, though it sets much earlier now; and soon as we see the setting of the Harvest Moon, and the dawning of the eleventh month, we will synchronize our clocks for even earlier sunsets. Let’s not whisk away the changing of the seasons so swiftly. We still have Halloween to look forward to…and tic-tack corn, and pumpkins aglow with their flickering, eery visages perched upon costumed porches. Ah, what romance in the air, as newly formed couples take their first walks under the moonglow; the love of parents and children, and neighbors generously disseminating a sugary crop.

This is a season of maturity and love, this is an age of newly gained perspectives, this is a time for hungering for the bounty that life will soon offer!

Is This Road Long Enough for the Trip I’m On?

Equilibrium is a myth in a world like this, at least in the case where the human mind is concerned. Never will your world come to a complete balance. If this standstill were achievable would any of us want it anyway? How boring would it be to simply have things exactly the way you want? Most of us have already had fleeting moments in our lives where we’ve experienced just this. It’s that moment your travelling in your car, the streetlights racing past, the night sky a faint blur, that perfect song playing on the stereo, your hand in your lover’s, and you think to yourself, “If I died right now, it would be alright…”

This moment of serendipity fades quickly as you think of all that would be lost if you were to die off then and there…so much life to be lived, only a small percentage of it the exact way you want it to be. Choices lead to change and change leads to more choices. Cloudy skies lead to rain, rain helps the flowers grow, flowers lead to loves gained, and without flowers maybe the sun would shine that much less. The sun always shines, even behind a cloudy sky. Today, tomorrow, next year may not go our way, but eventually, God will give us our day!

Requiem For a Joyful Journey

What a joy it is, this wonderful place! To get away alone for a day, only a faint trace of the human race. To live in Utah, in this mountainous wonderland…I hear the sounds of a distant stream, the subtle crackles from firewood, the flicker of light in the distance…

Sitting in the back of the Cherokee, writing down simple thoughts, thanking God for who I am, and forgetting about what I am not. The bright future lies ahead, and I remember the river…flowing as it did and I followed it. She cleansed my life, once in shambles–yet now there is a glimmer, a reflection of light on the other end of a long tunnel…

The Shallow Valley Narrows

In this magnificent world, this world that many say is turned upside-down, which is quite possible, we must remember who we are. To remember who we are, we must know who we are. The path through life that leads us to come to know who we are can be treacherous. Our mission, our goal, our experience, can lead us through many dark and precarious places. The strength to carry on, or even survive the trials we put ourselves through, often times, may escape us.

The only way I made it to this point, is by knowing there are Powers That Be, greater than me…hope and positivity are tools to bring the unknown world to your doorstep in a way that is perceived as light and glorious. Don’t fall by the wayside, there is nothing down there for you!

Mission: Sunset, Day 7

It was magical! I have been timing these sunsets every day for the past week, allowing for a minute or two of time difference each day. No need to rely on empirical evidence or even a Farmer’s Almanac…I felt it coming! I saw the clouds all over the sky and theorized about how epic this was going to be.

As I got my Jeep parked, I grabbed my camera and my iPod, made sure the vehicle was off, and ran to the hill. Rich, vibrant colors were mingling together in the sky. Orange flirted with yellow, indigo and violet carried on a conversation further to the west, and the feeling was that of serendipity. As I stood, shuffling through my playlist for the right soundtrack to this event, I got lost in what I saw and forgot about the music…it was merely background.

As random vehicles drove by, their passengers waved a happy salutation, they seemed to know why I was there. I realized as I looked to the north and to the south, that there were others who were captivated by this creation evolving in the western sky. A man who said he was from China entered my vicinity, and we chatted, briefly, in amazement as we feverishly snapped pictures. This was it, the denouement of my week-long mission to capture a cathartic sunset.

People may wonder why we have the inner urge to go west, and I may not be able to fully explain it…this I can offer in response: I want to go wherever that beautiful sun goes!

Whitney Afterdark

Wednesday, July 14

As the sun sets, and the moon rises in the eastern sky, the stars twinkle as they light up the pale blue night. Satellites travel slowly across the spangled enigma, a subtle flash of light…this begins the inner fight.

My mind a dialogue, neither personality stronger than the other, alpha versus alpha…the struggle wages on. One side, a being of light and happiness who wishes for something to help us when the other rages long…

When Orion takes the sky again, the moon will light his hunt…the day will come when he can bask in the spoils of his toils.